You CAN Hurry Love

 ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ 

I need love, love

Oo ease my mind

I need to find, find someone to call mine

Well Tinder said,

"You can hurry love;

You can hook up tonight."

She said, "Love can come easy

Just by swiping left and right 

You can hurry love.

No, you don't have to wait.

Just trust algorithms 

No matter how many swipes it takes."

But how many matches

Must I make

Before I find a date

To whom I can relate?

Right now the only thing

That keeps me swiping on

When my battery

Yeah, it's almost dead

I remember Tinder said,

"You can hurry love;

You can hook up tonight."

She said, "Love can come easy

Just by swiping left and right."

How long must I wait

For each message update?

Before silence rings clear: 

You've been ghosted by

A cowardly douche

No I can't bear to live my life alone

I grow impatient for a chime upon my phone

But when I feel it's time, to try things IRL

These precious words keep me on my cell

I remember Tinder said:

"You can hurry love;

You can hook up tonight."

She said, "Love can come easy

Just by swiping left and right 

You can hurry love.

No, you don't have to wait.

Just trust algorithms

No matter how long it takes."

MASTURBATE

[instrumental]

Now love, love depends on sample size,

So I keep on swiping

And super-liking 

With that screen's glow

Inside my room at night,

But no tender arms

To hold me tight

I keep swiping

Ooh, till that match

Yeah it's so easy (love is so easy)

You know it's so easy.

My Tinder said:

"You can hurry love;

You can hook up tonight."

She said, "Love can come easy

Just by swiping left and right 

You can hurry love.

No, you don't have to wait.

Just trust algorithms 

No matter how many swipes it takes."

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫